Wow...5 months. Its been so long I blogged. But then things became hectic. The semester was just crazy, and then the India trip and everything. Now its back to where I am, studying, working...and just living life I guess.
I have been hurt a lot in the past few days. Why does this happen? Is it my fault? Maybe it really is. I go out of the way so much to do things for people that I end up expecting in return. And no one is able to meet that expectation. I dont think I expect too much, but I guess thats because thats nothing for me. Its an effort for others. I really really go too much out of the way for people. I mean why do I do that? Cuz it comes naturally to me. Why does it at all come naturally to me?
I am really not happy about this aspect of mine. I take too much tension, and I do too much for people and think too much about things. I care too much. I really want to be able to just not be so attached. How can I do that without being bitter at heart? I had dedicated a song to someone which had a line saying, "dont let some hell bent heart leave you bitter"...but the same is happening to me. Its not one hell bent heart. Its just me being so different from most people. Cuz I make myself prone to being hurt. I really want a solution for this. Someone who can teach me how to love without expecting...who can?
Really, I want to just do that. I want to not expect anything. Can anyone help me please?
1 comment:
i learnt to do that after somebody who was very very precious to me hurt me very bad. Went through a lot of pain and effort to recover from it but I came out as a person who still cares about friends and dear ones, who still goes out of the way to do things to make people feel happy and comfortable, yet can protect herself from being hurt. It just takes time and understanding. Practise practise, till perfect.
Dont stop being the caring person that you are though. Dont ever stop going out of your way for people who mean something to you. That will make you unhappier with yourself. Trust me, I am happier being myself, doing stuff for people but not expecting something in return :)
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