When an inner self dies...

Sometimes life takes a turn of events in such a way that you have no control over them. Sometimes you try to control the way the events turn in your life. There is a constant fight between the practical and the way of the heart. I want to forget and just move on. There is so much that I need to do, but its as if some part of my body, from deep inside has got all its cells black and clumped together, somewhere around the chest region. Im trying to breathe hard to lighten them, to release them from being stuck to each other this way. But I don't know if these cells are dead or dying. If they are already dead, will I be able to restore them? Or will they be replaced ever? I hope they haven't given up yet...and are just waiting for the optimum splurge of life that would swell them up again with vigour, excitement, hope and beauty!