Relationships

So much to it. There are complications, there are simplicities, there are joys, there are heartbreaks, there is love, there are misunderstandings...but collectively, each one is such a rich experience. And it is unique with every different person. I don't like the term boyfriend/girfriend/best friend/good friend etc. To me they are all relationships. Different relationships with every different life form, be it a fellow human being, a fish, a plant, or even oneself. Well of course the more complex the life form, the more are the number of colours in the sack of balls, each day throwing out a different colour. For instance neither can I have a misunderstanding with my fish, nor can my plant break my heart by itself ! But with the human its a different story all together...or rather different stories altogether.

There are four different people that I can think of right now who in this phase of my life are throwing out the maximum number of coloured balls to me.

One is this person I know for the last 3.5 years now and who means a lot to me. Things are new and different, they are pleasantly surprising, but they make me wonder how much to believe in their permanence (if thats a word). Something makes me feel that the moment I sit back, relax and start totally relishing the new brighter colours, they'll fade back or get replaced by older colours.

Then there is this other person with whom I had a kind of a fall back of late. We were going really strong for the last one year, and one unexpected incident changed things. The colours were varied and frequently brightening my day each day for the past year but of late have suddenly turned grey. I know I could make the change myself as its me who is a little set back right now. This person has been trying to really put the colours back but I guess its just me who is not accepting them. Maybe I need time.

Third there is another person who has become very close recently. Now I am even scared to say that, again because I somehow have lost faith in defining closeness. Everything is so temporary. But growing up has somewhat taught me to even accept that happily and enjoy the present as long as it sustains without thinking of the future. Oh and I love talking, which is something I can't do equally with everyone. So its very comforting to be able to just talk so freely with this person.

And then finally there is this person who I haven't regularly been in touch with, more off and on. There are good and bad memories attached to this person. I chose to just remember the good ones. But a recent conversation brought all the hurtful memories back...the neutral colours changed to dark fiery ones. It made me cry and feel that same stinging sensation again, which I had put behind me.

So yes, its been eventful, and guess I am thankful to whoever is planning these events in my life. There is so much to relationships, there is so much to just expressing yourself...there is so much that one can do. I love being totally myself...and im sure everyone does. But you cant do that all the time with everyone. Most of the times there is this mask we have to wear...and then once in a while that mask gets uncovered, releasing beneath it either a beautiful face or a worn out ugly side. Yes I think this is what I am most passionate about in life, the relationships that make up my life, without which, I don't know what I would do. :) Its cool to be all 'independent'...but I guess I am ok with admitting that I am not cool. I need these relationships to survive, they define me. And I am not going to let anything or anyone stop me from expressing to and living my relationships to the fullest.

What exactly is a tag?

Once a friend said she had written a post on facebook and told me she had tagged me. The illiterate me looked for my name in it...again and again! I had even got a notification saying she had tagged me in that post, so where was it? Much later only did I learn that it means you are supposed to answer the questions your friend has answered in that post. Being tagged means basically being hand-cuffed and cornered, it means your friend has picked you as one amongst the chosen ones to go through this harrowing experience!!!

Hehe ok enough of the exxageration. Macho Girl tagged me for two posts, and here I attempt to to justice to her :P

1)Are you happy/satisfied with your blog with it's content and look?

I just started blogging a while back, so look-wise, I'd say Im still at it. Its nice now, but it can be made more interesting m sure of that! Content wise, oh yes! Like I've mentioned, its my mind in its birthday suit. This is the only place I can truly be myself, and I love it :)

2) Does your family know about your blog?

Not yet. I know for one thing I would be filtering many things if they read it. Not because I want to hide something from them, but just that some aspects of mine I'd rather keep to myself. They'll certainly know sometime :) And I plan on initiating my kid sister to it soon!

3) Do you feel embarrassed to let your friends know about your blog or you just consider it as a private thing?

Not embarassed, but some of my friends just can't help passing comments uncalled for. My blog is not to publicly announce my opinions and perspectives or convey any message to anyone. It is just a mirror where in I can look at myself and express my feelings. It certainly is a private thing, and hence is anonymous :)

4) Did blogs cause positive changes in your thoughts?

Too early to say that. Like I said, Ive just started. So far so good, Im enjoying it.

5) Do you only open the blogs of those who comment on your blog or you love to go and discover more by yourself?

I usually just look at people who are in my blog list, but at times I have just skimmed through some others. Don't do that much though.

6) Did you try to imagine your fellow bloggers and give them real pictures?

As of now, I know all of them.

7) Admit. Do you think there is a real benefit for blogging?

Oh certainly!! For one thing, its a place where one can be yourself, not to mention you come to know many people who think alike or think differently, and get acquainted with different interesting styles of writing. Like I've mentioned, references for competiton and inspiration ;)

8) Do you think that bloggers society is isolated from real world or interacts with events?

I think bloggers pretty much reflect the real world. There are many things unspoken in life. Putting them into words and sentences defines our very existance. Without writers, authors, books and in present day world bloggers, there wouldn't be any definition of anything.

9) Does criticism annoy you or do you feel it's a normal thing?

I am open to crtiticism. About the way I write, my usage of language and my way of expression. But not to the content of my posts. That I feel I have a right to decide without any unwanted comments.

10) Do you fear of some political blogs and avoid them?

I have never really enjoyed or followed politics. Not my cup of tea at all.

11) Did you get shocked by the arrest of some bloggers?

I have no idea such a thing happened! When what where????

12) Did you think about what will happen to your blog after you die?

I have thought of that alright :) I want it to be converted into a hard-copy book. For my children and grandchildren. I would love to know how my parents and grandparents thought as they grew, throughout their life. I can't really get that now, but I am sure mine would love to know me too. It would be a gift for them.

13) What do you like to hear? What's the song you like to put its link in your blog?

Welcome to wherever you are, this is your life, you've made it this far Welcome, you gotta believe, that right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be...

I like inspirational songs. They really motivate me. Apart from that, anything with any lyrics that can make me dance. Im a dance freak!! Just waiting for my ankle to heal :(

14) Five bloggers to be the next "victims"?

One is Mesirine for sure! Rest, hmm lets see...

Here's the second one...

3 Smells I love:

1. Smell of wet earth

2. My mom's chicken curry

3. Mangoes!!

3 Smells I hate:

This one is easy :D

1. Smell of dirty toilets

2. Bad breath

3. Rotten food

3 Jobs that I have had in my life:

1. Research Assistant in a lab

2. Chairperson of a Graduate Congress

3. Co-convenor of a Dance Society

3 Movies that I could watch over and over:

1. All the Harry Potter Movies

2. Fashion (by Madhur Bhandarkar)

3. Saathiya

There are many more :)

3 Fond memories:

1. My 24th birthday surprise

2. The moment I knew I was admitted into a university I really wanted to get in to

3. When I surprised my three best friends by barging into their house after 10 months of being abroad. No one knew I was in town, and I barged into their houses, one by one. I can never forget their reactions. Something similar was when I surprised my parents by landing there on their 25th wedding anniversary. The looks on their faces is something that never fails to bring a smile on my face.

3 Jobs I would love to have:

1. A dance instructor in a professional troupe of my own.

2. A life-sciences teacher for beginners

3. A career counsellor in a university

3 Things I like to do:

1. Dance

2. Spend time with my loved ones

3. Blog

3 Of my favorite foods:

1. JUNK FOOD!!!

2. Paneer dishes

3. Lady's finger preparations

3 Places I would like to be right now:

1. Next to my grandparents

2. In my ex-college with my friends

3. A dance school

3 Things that make me cry:

1. A fight with a loved one

2. Frustration and anger that I cannot express

3. When I miss something/someone I love dearly

This felt good :) Its like a recap of who you are...thanks MG for tagging me on this. Now its my turn to pay it forward...

The Harry Potter Freaks!

Can't believe I actually found some people who are as obsessed with the Harry Potter world if not more (actually I think it IS more!). Well I don't really claim to be like the biggest fan of the series or something, but I do have my own version of the HP mania :)

So ya here I mention again my accident, without going into the details. Apart from giving me a recall into the blogging world, it also did me some more great favours. Two of my new-found friends, who do not have to go to any class or any work-place at the moment because of exams, have been keeping me company throughout this otherwise-would-have-been-such-a-lonely-and-frustrating week. Yes its been a week that I fell. And I wasn't left alone to the mercy of my foot for a single day :) Apart from cracking jokes, watching funny youtube videos, being beside me quietly when I went into my shell, bringing me food, these guys made my time a hundred times more enjoyable by showing more enthusiasm than me at the prospect of the Harry-Potter movie watching marathon! I have the whole series with me, well the first five as the other two aren't out yet. And seeing that in my collection, one of them suggested having a marathon movie session! I can't even express how thrilled and surprised I was at the same time. I mean I have seen these movies again and again and thought it was just me and my little sister who understood and enjoyed the concept of watching an already seen movie over and over again, comment on the scenes, rewind the scenes a hundred times to watch a favourite dialogue or action etc. I mean I used to get to hear the usual 'these are for kids' dialogues every now n then from people...But these guys even surpassed that! Not only did we watch the movies, we showed off how much we knew the dialogues, criticized them about not being accurately matched with the book (well that can never happen, books are always better) and swooned over the characters! :D It was then that I realized that if I am an HP maniac, these guys are HP freaks!!! They remember each and every detail of the book even! And I was thinking I am crazy...

Staying up till 5 am and kicking each other for even looking slightly sleepy, we finally finished the five movies last night, or technically today morning! After some six hours of sleep, dreaming of Harry Potter coming to our place and befriending us (ok that was only my dream, not the others'), I finally woke up at 11:30 am. After freshening up, when I sit down to write this post, and the two of them wake up, I just ask one of them to show me the trailers for the 6th movie realeasing this July (as they had mentioned to me last night that some new trailers were out), I couldn't believe she was actually downloading the trailers already for me!!! The other one comes out of the bathroom and starts a 'fully-harry-pottered' conversation! I mean I was not the only one thinking of it throughout the night, in my dreams and the first thing in the morning as well...

Its just an amazing feeling when you connect with people based on common passions/obsessions/mania/interests, whatever you call it. And now if I think back, its not just the HP series, but the HSM series (for which we had an earlier marathon), Thai Express, 17-again, long emails, chain smses, quest for English-correction, British accent, 'cheese' and so much more that I have shared with these guys without having to think if they are getting bored or rather keeping mum about how much I enjoy these things.

To say everything in one sentence, I'd say that my college days were the best days of my life, and spending this one week (and much more earlier at the dog-abode) reminds me of my college days like nothing else does...MG and Clueless, you guys rock!!! Seriously, without you guys, I don't know how I would have spent these days alone at home. Thanks for coming into my life :)