A very special computer...

Right now I am at my workplace. Have set up some work to do and am waiting for the incubation time. I actually feel like going back home, and sitting alone in front of my comp where I can pen down my thoughts in peace without any distraction. But since I can't do that now, I thought I'll use a make-shift computer, the one at my workplace. Ok let me clear out the space on my desk so I can make it look like my home-desk....just a min :)

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Amm...sorry that took like 10 minutes...and it still doesnt give me that feeling :( But nevermind, I'll try to get into a bubble and use this comp now...

So you guys (whoever does read this post) must be wondering what I am talking about. There was a friend of mine, SNK, a couple of years back. She still is a friend but we don't meet that often nowadays. Anyway, I met her at a time when she was in her 2nd year of PhD, and was just slowly getting accustomed to the many gadgets evolving in the markets around the world. Finally after much research and thought, she bought a mac, I think Powerbook. It was a beauty. And the way she maintained it was amazing. She used all the accessories possible, and customized her screen with various stick-ons. Her screensaver was a slideshow of her photographs, in the mac way, having 3D boxing in and out effects and what not, with an audio file of 'roobarooo' playing in the background. That was the first time I had seen a computer like that, which was just beautiful. For a non-materialistic person like me, calling a computer beautiful means something. The relationship SNK had with her comp was special, she literally made it her best friend, her child, her pet, her companion...

Now why am I writing a post about a 'special computer', that too my friend's computer, a friend who is not too close, and above everything else, something that happened 2 years ago and may not even be the same anymore? The reason for this is that I didn't know at that time, that a name I heard so randomly would become such an integral part of my life 2 years later. A name that I had known while transferring something via bluetooth, the name my friend gave to her computer. To a non-malayali, this sounded like the name of a baby elephant then :| . Maybe cuz as a kid I had seen a movie with an elephant with a similar name. But that was it, it was just a fleeting thought and I forgot about it. Or so I thought...

Two years later, that is now, a few months back...I met this person, who shared things with me on numerous occasions. It started out with formality, then practical help, then a little bit of fun, and then finally reached the level of a mashed potato containing bits of fun, frolic, great times, useless moments and a huge coating of emotional support. Amidst all this, at a time without realizing it, I named this friend after that beautiful comp. Why I named her that, I wasn't quite sure at that time, probably just because I was trying hard to find a 'funny' nick for her. But now when I think about it I realise that I associate her with all the relationships SNK had associated her comp with...companion, kid, pet, and even though it might be too early to say this, one of my best friends :) A name that was so randomly heard and buried at the corner of my memory came out at the apt time, suited for the right person...

Seven years back, there was a time when I was in the lowest of lows, with no one to confide my sorrows in, no one whom i could call a true friend. That time someone had come into my life like an angel, and lifted me up like a feather, showing me the brighter parts of the world, the more colourful aspects of life, and brought out my true personality. Lots of things happened since then, and the past 2 years somehow became a near-repeat telecast of what happened before I met this angel, where in I can say I pretty much lost myself in the midst of all the events happening. I missed this angel of mine a lot, someone who isn't there in my life anymore. Never had I thought that God would send me another one...another person who would be able to see me for what I am, appreciate me for my nature, and love me because of my emotional nature...something that I had started to think was my biggest drawback. She was with me when I needed someone ...when I was alone, when I was bored, when I just needed to be quiet, or when I needed fun, she was always there. I had thought that I have lost the capability to express myself. She pulled me out of that shell and made me feel that she genuinely cares about me, my feelings, my thoughts and my emotions. Without me having to ask for anything, she would just write smses, emails or anything to make my day, make me feel that I am special just the way I am. I used to think that only a partner can make someone feel this way...but she made me realize that it just takes a person with equal understanding of emotions and feelings to make another person feel so secure and loved and cared for and confident, no matter what the relationship is. She made me realize how my friends would have felt when I did something for them. I had thought that I will never be able to get the same importance from my friends as I give them, but I was mistaken. I had my best birthday ever this year...and even though I can't thank everyone who were a part of it enough, I knew that my expectations were more than matched for the very first time...because of her.

Today, when I think of leaving this place with a heavy heart, I can say with utmost confidence, that the strength required to do this without sinking into depression has been given to me by her, who I know would be with me in this transition, and remind me of who I am, what I love, what I am capable of, and what I mean to this world. Whatever I write in this post cannot truly describe the gratitude I have in my heart to God for giving me an angel again...to guide me out of my blue phase. I guess I can just say that I bumped into a bumper offer when God decided to display a computer sale... :) :) :)